Beer Mystic Burp #13: Without the Voodoo of Hope
bart plantenga
Hitching through mid-1970s Canada usually meant Canadian Border Services stopping you, inquiring how much money you had on your person. If it was under $25 they’d refuse you entry, which meant hitching the long way round ...
Beer Mystic Burp #12: Stroh’s Cans to the Head
bart plantenga
I suddenly have vivid memories of survival in Flint, Michigan, Motor City Jr., birthplace of GM. I was a stranger here because I rode a bike with books of poetry in my back pocket and some locals could smell this alienness ...
Beer Burp #11: Obsolete Drunken Nirvana
bart plantenga
Rich Dana, is not just the editor of the retro-future activist aesthetics journal Obsolete but also a guy doing battle – and making his own peace – with the various seemingly overwhelming forces of displacement, corpo...
Beer Mystic Burp #10: The Amble, The Ale
bart plantenga
The Amble, The Ale: Walking Nowhere Into the Pale
“Freedom knows no propaganda more effective
than people calmly enjoying themselves.”
• Raoul Vaneigm, The Revolution of Everyday Life
I was pointed to a youtu...
BEER MYSTIC Burp #9: Beernuts are People Too
bart plantenga
You can make a lot of friends on social networks if you’re into beer. You can do that quite adequately in bars as well. You buy a few elbow jockeys a round of canned goat urine and you might have friends for life, the kind...
BEER MYSTIC Burp #8: Eddie Don’t Do Beer
bart plantenga
No, Eddie Woods don’t do beer, he does white wine, anything above 3 euros is just fine. Pinot Grigio or Chardonnay is more than OK by him. Not before 5 and thereafter, he switches to red – Merlot [EW correction] or Beau...
BEER MYSTIC Burp #7: Beer = Liquid Cartoonist
bart plantenga
BEER MYSTIC Burp #7
X-Large I see is the new large in clothing sizes. Size matters, so now a medium cup is like a trough of soda at McSubWenNuggests. They even try to super-size you when you rent a car, from an obese sedan ...
BEER MYSTIC Burp #6: Plagiarism and Unpaid-for Beer in a Paris Swamp
bart plantenga
BEER MYSTIC Burp #6
We made a toast. “To he who casts the first kidney stone.” Clink of beer glasses, tink-tink, small amber waves sloshing over the sides, beer-head mustaches as our only disguise in the Pik-Clops in th...
BEER MYSTIC Burp #5: A Mental Jersey Leads to Spirited Beer Consumption
bart plantenga
BEER MYSTIC Burp #5
Before Jersey Shore was a TV show, it was already a socio-anthropological phenomenon of some steroidal bonehead beach bum magnitude. Summers were and still are an excuse for so-called [or seemingly] norma...
Beer Mystic Burp #4: A Weird, Bloody Barroom Ritual Remembered
bart plantenga
Beer Mystic Burp 4: A Weird, Bloody Barroom Ritual Remembered
Imagine this, you walk into your local bar, a place where you know where to hang your truss, and upon entering you instantly sense something is amiss, awry –...
Beer Mystic Burp #3: Pivo is Czech for Beer
bart plantenga
Pivo Is Czech for Beer But Also An Alter-Ego
In 1993, you could live like a bastard prince in Prague – if you had dollars to spend – on a pauper’s wages. Beer was 15 US cents – and we would repeat the names ... Pi...
Beer Mystic Burp #2: Spilling Beer
bart plantenga
Su Byron Spilling Beer: Late at night Su Byron and I would walk back from whatever disaster, like in Fanelli’s where things happened or didn’t. On the way home – each our own hovel with beds where the sheets no longer ...
Beer Mystic Burp #1
bart plantenga
BEER MYSTIC Burp #1: Beyond the 12 Ounces of Craft
The Internet and the world at large currently host plenty of hopsonian enthusiasts, beer nuts, pils pushers, literally hundreds of sites like RateBeer and Facebook pages l...
The Beer Mystic’s Last Day on the Planet
bart plantenga
previous Beer Mystic Excerpt #43: BLACK BILE PRESS [Ottowa]
Furman Pivo believes he [plus beer] may be the cause of a rash of streetlight outages. This sense of empowerment transforms him into the Beer Mystic. He has ...
Beer Mystic, Excerpts 35 and 36
bart plantenga
Two more excerpts from the continuing sage of the Beer Mystic, by bart plantenga.
