My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball Freedom Pole of Rumpleforeskin
— for Kristen Stewart
I reared your monkey penis sausage
You read my poetry at the nighttime elf race
Then scrawled neon squid across the horny thighs of Catherine the Great
Kismetly — like how prostitutes destroy the Matterhorn (ubiquitously) —
Thrown down to strafe your hoochie-coochie nuns weaning minks
I’ll suck the rainbow unicorn boners (pretty).
Your rainbow unicorn boner perforated the asspants
Then spray painted “unicorn boners don’t declare fatwas”
As assclowns rushed through and all out into
My new movie “Corn Dog Guy” whilst the chicks passed out beside the litterbox
Threw up eight goats, a taco cake and a grapefruit
The grapefruit hit the taco cake and spanked Michelle Bachmann
And I bellowed and you queefed
We reached our Jesus in lint form
One honest day up on this wiffle ball freedom pole of rumpleforeskin
Devils not done digging chicks who dig war
He’s speaking in goat fetus all along the pan handle
And this pining erosion is getting dust in
My mom-seeker panties
And I’m drunk on your 90% Khalil Gibran, 10% carved wooden pizza kitty
And so I look down the mountain, killing zombies at will
Some people cried “but that was cool!” and I could only whisper “we should NOT be killing zombies!”
Your every twitch salutes my brainwashed creationists yodeling to attract a forest of UPS trucks driven by Oompa-Loompas
Spank hard, spank safe, Kurt Vonnegut
–for Kristen Stewart, by Sharon Mesmer
Poetry