My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball Freedom Pole of Rumpleforeskin — for Kristen Stewart

My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball Freedom Pole of Rumpleforeskin
— for Kristen Stewart

I reared your monkey penis sausage

You read my poetry at the nighttime elf race

Then scrawled neon squid across the horny thighs of Catherine the Great

Kismetly — like how prostitutes destroy the Matterhorn (ubiquitously) —

Kristen-Stewart

Thrown down to strafe your hoochie-coochie nuns weaning minks

I’ll suck the rainbow unicorn boners (pretty).

Your rainbow unicorn boner perforated the asspants

Then spray painted “unicorn boners don’t declare fatwas”

As assclowns rushed through and all out into

My new movie “Corn Dog Guy” whilst the chicks passed out beside the litterbox

Threw up eight goats, a taco cake and a grapefruit

The grapefruit hit the taco cake and spanked Michelle Bachmann

And I bellowed and you queefed

We reached our Jesus in lint form

One honest day up on this wiffle ball freedom pole of rumpleforeskin

Devils not done digging chicks who dig war

He’s speaking in goat fetus all along the pan handle

And this pining erosion is getting dust in

My mom-seeker panties

And I’m drunk on your 90% Khalil Gibran, 10% carved wooden pizza kitty

And so I look down the mountain, killing zombies at will

Some people cried “but that was cool!” and I could only whisper “we should NOT be killing zombies!”

Your every twitch salutes my brainwashed creationists yodeling to attract a forest of UPS trucks driven by Oompa-Loompas

Spank hard, spank safe, Kurt Vonnegut

–for Kristen Stewart, by Sharon Mesmer