Owls

by This Fuckin’ Guy (as told to John S. Hall)

Owls don’t seem so fucking wise to me.
They look like dicks, usually,
With their chests all puffed out and shit,
Like they’re saying
“Fuck me? No–fuck you!”
But of course, they’re not fucking saying that.

Owls don’t actually want to fuck with you.
They will stay the fuck out of your way is what I’ve found.
But if you happen to be chipmunk running in a fucking field,
Or a squirrel fucking another squirrel, let’s say,
And an owl sees you,
You’re fucked.
You’re fucked.

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Quarantine, acrylic, 24″ x 20″, 2003 by Rick Prol

That fucking owl will swoop down on your chipmunk or squirrel ass
And pick you up with some sharp-ass motherfucking talons,
And fly you up to a branch,
And just fucking eat you.
Eat you alive.
That is some fucked up shit.

You could even be a fucking bird,
Just fucking flying along,
And that fucking owl will catch you in mid fucking air,
And you’re fucked.
You’re fucked.

Owls will also eat insects and fucking worms.
That doesn’t seem so fucking wise to me.
I don’t fucking know, but I mean,
The only time I ever ate a worm,
It was a worm at the bottom of a bottle of fucking tequila.
And that wasn’t so fucking wise, let me fucking tell you.
I’m not saying owls are totally fucking stupid.
I’m just saying they’re not fucking geniuses is all.

8/26/2014

This Fuckin’ Guy (as told to John S. Hall)

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