Ted Nugent Says

Ted Nugent Says

All hunts are pure trophy meat fun.

Ted says every sacred part of precious animal
meat, claws, skull, sinew, body fluids, blood,
organs, teeth, skin, hair, tongue, eyeball
are renewable.

Ted says a magnificent kill makes room for more lions,
that coons shouldn’t be in white houses.

Ted calls my president a subhuman mongrel.

Ted is a hunter built for the hunt,
wears a camouflage loincloth,
calls himself Dirty Harry with a ponytail.

He says don’t spare the rod. Misused guns and undisciplined children
come from bad parents, drugs, and alcohol, Period.
Ted says. Period.

Ted says the only good bad guy is a dead bad guy.

Ted says the most armed citizens have the least crime,
places with too much gun control have the highest crime
according to Ted. More guns less crime period, he says.
Where are these places Ted is talking about?
Should we ask the CIA, Gary Webb, Oliver North,
the 82nd Airborne? Should I ask Reagan, the real Ricky Ross, COINTELPRO?
All those good armed citizens, all those school shootings,
We can’t ask dead kids, should of packed pistols instead of lunch.

Ted says he surrounds himself with positive,
productive people of good will and decency.
Like himself.

Ted Nugent threatened our president and was not arrested.
Real American’s are white mother fucking shit kickers
who are independent. Ted says.

Ted says he eats vegetarians for breakfast.

That hopping the fence or wading the Rio Grande
isn’t part of America’s immigration process.
Ted says shoot them dead.

Ted says God, Guns and Rock and Roll
Ted doesn’t know poor black folk invented Rock ‘n Roll,
Real American Black folks get shot and die, Real American
black folks pray to his God.

No wonder James Brown went to prison.
That’s not soul that’s stupid, Ted says.

Ted says guns don’t kill people lions do but not if we kill them first.

Ted’s idea of fast food is mallard duck. Quack.
Pardon me while I adjust my glowing halo. Says Ted.

Ted says I hump the wild
take it all in,
there is no bag limit to happiness.

American’s have the right to be unarmed and helpless
be my guest.
but if you want to save a species eat it.
Ted says.

The war is coming to the streets of America
if you are not keeping and bearing arms
you will be a helpless victim of evil.

Ted says I am Rosa Parks with a Gibson Guitar.
Do you want to feel good, or do you want to do good?
I am the Great White Buffalo
I will blow your head off
at a 100 paces with my guitar made in America.

Ted says I have busted more hippie noses
than all the narcs in the free world.
If you don’t crush evil
evil will get you.
War is good, good crushes evil.

You must reach your own brand of ammunition
for true self actualization.

The first gun is the best gun.
Every kid wishes I was their grandpa.

Gun Boy, E9th St. and Ave. C, 1978, photograph by Philip Pocock
Gun Boy, E9th St. and Ave. C, 1978, photograph by Philip Pocock

Ted Says I am a man possessed.
He is a member of the honest society, also called a clan.
Ted says we should say the N word like Mark Twain,
Says Hilary Clinton is a toxic cunt,
calls her Castro’s worthless two bit whore.
Suck on my machine gun.
I really have the American dream licked. Ted Says.

The south should have won.
Ted says lets call a spade a spade.

Kill more Muslim terror punks.
Ted says shoot them dead.
That’s what Ted says.
Shoot them dead.

-Cassandra Dallett